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Jan. 16th, 2010 | 11:45 am

Despite knowing I'm on track to better things and despite how well David treats me and how happy he makes me, I can't shake this feeling of distress and worthlessness regarding Luke. I still cannot understand how I could go from being so loved to being nothing like that. I put so much into that relationship (short lived as it was) and feel so cheated and betrayed and worthless.

After work Shannon (his roommate/bff) sent a message asking what was going on, and said no matter what she was there for me. I explained and totally broke down in frustrated tears right there on the street. When I got home I packed everything he gave me into a box and shipped it back to him. That helped.

I'm seeing David tonight and I think that will help too. He makes all of my self doubt and fear of worthlessness melt away because he seems to accept and fancy me exactly as I am. I deserve that, right?

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Comments {12}


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from: miss_almost
date: Jan. 17th, 2010 11:07 pm (UTC)

you deserve a guy who lets you be yourself, and doesnt give you unrealistic expectations and put everything so high that it would be impossible for anyone to live up to.

i understand the feeling of being undercut in a relationship - guys who just pull the rug out from under you and youre left wondering "how did that happen? how can you go from love, etc. to absolutely nothing in a matter of minutes?"
i understand feeling cheated. but youre not worthless, and you know that. its hard to remember sometimes, but you can do it.
take care.

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from: hilaryann
date: Jan. 18th, 2010 03:25 pm (UTC)

Thank you <3

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