?

Log in

No account? Create an account

ugh

« previous entry | next entry »
Jan. 16th, 2010 | 11:45 am

Despite knowing I'm on track to better things and despite how well David treats me and how happy he makes me, I can't shake this feeling of distress and worthlessness regarding Luke. I still cannot understand how I could go from being so loved to being nothing like that. I put so much into that relationship (short lived as it was) and feel so cheated and betrayed and worthless.

After work Shannon (his roommate/bff) sent a message asking what was going on, and said no matter what she was there for me. I explained and totally broke down in frustrated tears right there on the street. When I got home I packed everything he gave me into a box and shipped it back to him. That helped.

I'm seeing David tonight and I think that will help too. He makes all of my self doubt and fear of worthlessness melt away because he seems to accept and fancy me exactly as I am. I deserve that, right?

Link | Leave a comment | Share

Comments {12}

mighty-mighty-mighty

(no subject)

from: hilaryann
date: Jan. 18th, 2010 07:09 pm (UTC)
Link

Oh it's no bother! I mean you -were- right that it's an issue! It's just one that I've been trying to work on :)

<3 you~!

Reply | Parent | Thread

Sara Theresa Strey

(no subject)

from: starrbear
date: Jan. 19th, 2010 01:41 am (UTC)
Link

I'm glad! <3 you too! I want to move to Seattle after grad school...maybe we'll hook up when we aren't so far away!

Reply | Parent | Thread

mighty-mighty-mighty

(no subject)

from: hilaryann
date: Jan. 19th, 2010 01:51 pm (UTC)
Link

That would be mighty fine!

Reply | Parent | Thread